i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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