Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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