when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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