He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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