I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize