You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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