I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We left an ass print on the piano.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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