Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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