If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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