my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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