Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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