I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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