k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
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i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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