Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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