He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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