Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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