we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
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You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
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I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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