Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize