fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize