Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize