i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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