He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
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I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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