My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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