mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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