I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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