she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
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Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
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I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
we should paint friendship bongs
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