pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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