i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
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I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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