just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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