i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize