i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
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What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize