you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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