What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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