She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
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I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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