i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize