U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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