Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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