It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize