the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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