Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I need moral support for this bender
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DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
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Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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