i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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