I am in a vortex of obligation.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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