You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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