dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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