I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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