Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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