My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We got so high we made milksteak
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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