like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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