In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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