im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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